The More I see...

The more I see me, the more I can see you.”

Those words stood out to me in a beautiful post by a friend of mine Tommy Allgood

They haven't left me.

Because this is exactly what I have been meditating on over the last few months.

The more I love myself, the more I forgive myself, and the more honest I am about all of me, including the parts I'd rather hide, the parts I don't like, all the messy and ugly parts, and the discomfort and pain that come with facing them, the more I'm able to accept and love myself, which means loving you, too.

And this feels especially important right now in our country.

What I don't want to do is move from one extreme to another.

Been there. Done that.

I've learned that two things can be true at the same time.

I can disagree with someone, not want a relationship with them, or not even particularly like them, and still see their humanity. I can remember the toxic systems that have been in place to divide us and refuse to let them completely harden my heart.

I can hold boundaries without building walls.

I can remember myself at every age and season and know that I am always growing, always learning, never fully arriving.

I'm able to look back at all the different versions of myself (and many of those seasons make me cringe) and remember I didn't become who I am today overnight.

Every version of me was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.

When I'm able to see all of me, at every age and in every season, I can extend more grace and compassion to others while still maintaining my boundaries and not abandoning myself.

This doesn't mean excusing harmful and abusive behaviors.

It's not easy, and yet it's possible.

Maybe that is what healing is.