A Good Enough Dad: Parenting, Family Healing & Emotional Health
- kimwatt
- Sep 3
- 3 min read
Mark and I didn’t realize it at the time. We were young and clueless when we became parents. But we were family-centered from the very beginning. We never worshipped the father figure. I never felt like I had to put him above the kids. When they were young, they were our main focus. And as we all grew up together, we learned it’s really about what’s best for the whole family.
But, and it’s a big but, we always knew that even if our marriage went sideways, even if we couldn’t stand each other anymore (and trust me, we’ve had those moments), it never changed one core truth: he is a good enough dad, and I’m a good enough mom.
We have always been madly in love with these humans we created, and we would do anything for them. (I can’t say we have always been madly in love with each other!) That never changed. It became our job, our shared commitment, not to let our issues ever become our kids’ burden.
Parenting Mistakes Happen—And That’s Okay
Have we made mistakes? Absolutely. But one thing we did right was never speaking badly about each other in front of the kids. Pressuring children to pick sides, venting, or gossiping about the other parent is a form of emotional trauma.
Healthy disagreements are good. Kids need to see people fight fairly, humble themselves, and forgive each other.
Our children need to see that Mom has a voice, that I matter as well.
Respect Behind Closed Doors
Behind closed doors, sure, we’ve had plenty of unkind words. But when it came to the kids, we respected each other’s role. I never denied that he adored his children. And I was never going to take that away from him.
Everyday Dysfunction in Families
There are situations where children are truly unsafe, and that’s a different story. But I’m speaking to everyday dysfunctional, messy, human relationships most of us live in.
It’s difficult when one or both parents are not focused on inner healing, when they’re narcissistic or carrying deep wounds. I sit with kids in therapy, helping them learn to regulate their emotions, maintain boundaries, and protect their mental health while living with wounded parents who don’t realize it’s their own emotionally wounded child showing up, not their adult self.
Love Without Conditions
As someone who had to end a relationship with my own father at 40 for my mental and emotional well-being, this was not an easy decision. It’s a pain you never want for your children. You always hope for repair. You always want healing.
At the root of it all, I still love my dad—even with all the trauma, dysfunction, and hurt.
Our adult children don’t owe us anything. Love is unconditional. We hope to be part of their lives forever, and yet sometimes that is not a reality. I’ve told my kids their mental and emotional health is the most important, and if I’m ever unhealthy for them, they choose themselves.
Relationships Are Messy
If I’m doing my part, we will continue to grow together. That doesn’t mean we will always agree or never get upset. We are all human. Relationships are messy. It’s about knowing how to repair.
The story isn’t over until we take our last breath. There is always opportunity for healing. You just might have to give up the fantasy of what you imagined the relationship would look like. Not all relationships end in happy ever after—and that really sucks.
Healthy Families Come in Many Forms
Families aren’t always mom and dad. Healthy families can be mom and mom, dad and dad, or any combination where love, safety, and respect are present.
Be Kind to Yourself
This isn’t to shame anyone. If you start putting yourself down or blaming yourself, know that’s not the goal. Be kind to yourself. Say you’re sorry when needed. Take responsibility for your part. Then move forward.
We all make mistakes. Healing is part of being able to see your shadow side too. We are all imperfect people, just trying to make it in this world. And remember, the goal is good enough.
If you’re ready to explore your inner healing journey or need a speaker for your event, email me at Kim@kimwatttherapy.com.
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