From Grief to Action: Standing Up for Families and Communities Through Activism

Yesterday, I went to a training hosted by Siembra NC on civil disobedience, escalation, and de-escalation. There was a large group of compassionate human beings coming together to figure out how to be part of the solution and help families and children.

When I heard their stories—what brought them there, what gave them the courage to show up, when they handed out whistles—or when we all sang This Little Light of Mine together, I couldn’t hold back the tears.

As a licensed therapist and social worker, some of this wasn’t new to me. But sitting in that First Methodist Church in Uptown Charlotte, it felt like I was hearing it all for the first time—because what we are training for is reality. It’s happening now.

I can’t even find the right words. I know I might be smiling in this picture, and I won’t stop smiling, because I’m not letting these mofos take away my joy. But believe me, there is a deep grief and anger moving through my body right now—just like so many millions of others. Families and communities are being destroyed, and there is nothing good or just about any of this.

This morning, while scrolling through social media, I came across a comment from a pastor in Michigan—someone I once knew. And let me tell you, every word he posted was the complete opposite of Christ.

If you are going to a church that supports fascism, authoritarianism, or white supremacy, that tells me everything I need to know about you. And if that makes you uncomfortable, that’s not my problem. Sit with that discomfort. Dig deeper. Ask yourself hard questions. Think for yourself.

Ask yourself: What would Jesus do? Who was Jesus for? What does it truly mean—and look like—to follow Jesus?

I don’t always know what to do. But what I won’t do is stay home.

And I will not stay quiet.

I will use my privilege to help others.

I’ve been deconstructing and healing from white supremacy, Christian nationalism, family wounds, and trauma for the past 25 years. These toxic systems no longer get to define me. As a white-presenting woman who is Native Hawaiian and Irish, I understand the privilege I carry, and I also know I am a woman of color. This is also personal: my husband is white-presenting, Hispanic, and Russian—and we believe his ancestry may be from Ukraine—so my husband and our multiracial children are affected by this too.

I will use my body and my privilege to represent Native Hawaiians, Latinx, Black, and Indigenous peoples—and to support the POC communities and humans I care deeply about. They are a part of me, and I am a part of them. When one person suffers, we all suffer—and when one person heals, we all heal.

When I was a little girl reading about the civil rights movement in my history books, I would feel electricity run through my body and think, If I lived back then, I would’ve joined the movement.

And now I’m living in that moment.

I want my kids and my future grandkids to know I was on the right side of history.

The question is: Where will you stand, and what will you do?

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