Reflections, Healing, and Letting Go

This past week, I realized just how much I needed the time off. I’m one of the lucky ones who can take the week off during the holidays, and I desperately needed it.

I’ve been sleeping in, taking naps, reflecting on this past year, and spending time at home playing games with my husband, kids, and their partners and friends.

My husband bought a ton of new games from the TikTok shop. The guy loves TikTok shop! 😄

We’ve also been catching up on things we’ve been wanting to do, like cleaning out our closets. Sounds sexy, doesn’t it?

We even talked about going dancing, but by the time we finished our conversations, reality hit. Another episode of the series we’re hooked on, along with organizing the house, sounded like a better plan. I guess this is 50 now.

This year has been tough. Many of us, especially those aware of the trauma and hardships by the current administration, are probably feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. It’s been a really difficult year, and I don’t see it getting better anytime soon.

That said, this doesn’t mean I’ve given up hope. I’m continuing to focus on what I love—helping people heal and grow as I continue to heal and grow myself.

What I’ve learned this year, what I’ve healed and had to let go of on a much deeper level, is the need to be liked. People-pleasing and believing I’m not enough have been lifelong struggles for me.

But something shifted this year. I don’t know if it’s turning 50, the deep inner work, nervous system regulation, or inner-child healing. Probably all of it.

I’ve let go of wanting to be liked. Instead, I’ve learned to like me.

And guess what?

I do.

I like who I am.

I like what I stand for.

I like that I’m free to believe in, follow, and love Jesus in a way that feels true to me. I’m finally at peace knowing not everyone will like me. I’m done chasing ghosts.

I’ve been able to repair some relationships this year, and others simply don’t fit anymore. And that’s okay. I’ve come to peace, at least for today, knowing I’ve given my older three enough tools, love, and safety to begin their journeys while still guiding our youngest.

This doesn’t mean I’m not their mom or that they don’t need me. It just means my role and responsibility, my kuleana, looks different now, and I have to evolve with them.

Even knowing this is true doesn’t mean I like it. Some days I wish they could be babies again, with a mom who knows what she knows now. Some days, I only remember the things I wish I could have done differently.

The fear that they’ll make the same mistakes I did sometimes paralyzes me, and if I’m not careful, I find myself projecting my own struggles onto them. I have to remind myself of all the journeys I’ve been on that ultimately led me back to me.

This is life. I can’t protect them for the rest of my life because that would mean I wouldn’t be able to live out my one wild and precious life fully. It’s so hard, this life. And yet, it’s so beautiful too.

If your heart is calling you toward healing, even just taking the first step, send me a message. As a licensed therapist, it would be an honor to walk alongside you.

#InnerHealing #LicensedTherapist #HealingJourney #SelfLove #SpiritualGrowth #MentalHealthMatters #TraumaHealing #FaithAndHealing #PersonalGrowth #MindBodySpirit