Even as a Therapist, I Still Struggle

I feel this is worth sharing because so many of us are living in a fight, flight, shutdown, or appeasing feedback loop.

Of course we are—there’s so much happening in our country that’s traumatizing, stirring up old wounds, and reactivating childhood parts. Add in our own interpersonal struggles, and it’s no wonder people are feeling overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and alone.

Most of us were never given the tools to regulate our nervous systems or bring our bodies back to a grounded, safe state. And even when we do know how—it’s freaking hard right now. Even if your family is okay, simply witnessing so much suffering can leave you feeling helpless.

And let’s not forget that this harmful current administration continues to bully and harm marginalized and oppressed communities. When our basic needs aren’t being met, it’s incredibly hard to regulate ourselves—we slip into survival mode.

My family may not be struggling right now, but there were seasons when we didn’t know if we’d have enough money for food, to pay the bills, or to buy gifts for our kids during the holidays. With grocery prices rising and winter approaching, I know so many people are feeling that same heaviness and worry again.

Our bodies were never designed to handle this much negativity and pain coming at us every single day.

I noticed it in myself this week. I was cycling between fight, flight, and fawning—and then I felt myself starting to shut down and disconnect from the people around me.

I could hear the critical voice in my head, and the fawning (people-pleasing) showed up as a way to avoid feeling what was really happening in my body. I was gaslighting myself. It’s what my body learned years ago to do to protect me.

For so long, that pattern worked—but now, at 50, it no longer serves me.

Through therapy and the work I’ve been doing with the felt sense and the Polyvagal Model (thank you, Kim Honeycutt and Jan Winhall), I’ve learned to notice these moments and gently bring myself back to safety and grounding by regulating my nervous system.

I actually started doing this years ago, but now I have the language and a deeper understanding.

So I paused.

I got still.

I breathed.

I listened to what my body needed.

My body told me what was going on—and what had been triggered. There’s a very young part of me that still needs love, attention, and reminders that I’m not alone—and that I am enough. So I took the time to care for that little girl who’s still with me.

I put my feet in the grass. I walked. I talked with the one person who always helps me feel safe—my husband. I connected with my progressive church community, found ways to laugh and snuggled with my pups.

And I’ve been really mindful about social media. I took a few weeks off, and now that I’m back, I’m keeping it limited. My body can’t handle the constant input right now—and that’s okay.

I share this because—even as a therapist—I still struggle. I’m human, living in a very broken and upside-down world right now. I share this so you know you are not alone. You matter.

If you’re looking for a somatic, trauma-informed therapist focused on inner child healing—or a speaker for your next event—feel free to email me at kim@kimwatttherapy.com.