Midlife Mayhem: Menopause, ADHD, Dishwasher Fights, and Sleeping Next to Darth Vader

Friend,

This inner healing journey, especially in the midst of midlife, perimenopause, or menopause, is something else. If you’re in it, you already know it’s not for the weak. And if you throw ADHD in the mix, there are days I don’t know the day, the time, or even my own name. And everything just feels so much bigger than it really is.

If you’re in a relationship, married, or have kids, one minute you can’t imagine life without them. And then the next, your partner is just over there being human, doing what humans do… eating and breathing. He’s literally just being himself, eating and breathing like all of us do! And suddenly, you want to punch him in the face.

And your kids? They leave that dang cup in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher for the hundredth time. Or their shoes. Or everything else just collecting on the stairs. Why? Why

can’t anyone take what belongs to them and walk it upstairs?

And now somehow, you’re spiraling. Suddenly you’re dreaming of living far, far, far away. Alone. In peace. With a dishwasher you don’t have to unload, sleeping alone without the sound of the CPAP machine, and feeling like you are sleeping with Darth Vader.

But now you are emotional again. Because you can’t imagine life without them, and you already feel how much you will miss them when they’re living on their own and adulting without you. And then you cry because you think about being in the house with just your partner alone-his breathing and eating.

But then you reimagine being an empty nester, able to walk around the house naked, a clean house, and the freedom for my husband and me to do whatever we want, whenever wink wink. And then just as quickly, you’re thinking about all the vacations and fun the two of you will. It's one hormonal cycle!

(As much as my husband drives me crazy at times, I’ve been with him for over 30 years and have known him since I was 10 years old-a life without him is a reality I hope I never have to face, even when he irritates the crap out of me. So, if you’re in midlife, you deserve healthy relationshipS, not perfect ones.)

Here’s the thing about life, no matter what season you’re in:

Radical self-love.

That means learning how to be kind to yourself, how to nurture yourself, how to remind yourself again and again that you are safe, you are loved, you belong, and at your core, you are good.

You are human. And it’s okay.You’re allowed to have feelings.You’re allowed to have emotions.You don’t have to have it all together.

This part is so important because we all have wounded inner children who try to control and protect us. And for a lot of us, they’ve been running the show for years. But just like real kids, when they’re in charge for too long, things get messy. Relationships, boundaries, even our sense of self can start to unravel.

One of the most important parts of healing is radical honesty. But before we can even get there, before we can sit in the discomfort or walk through the pain, we have to learn how to reparent ourselves.

We have to let those child parts know:

You’re safe now.

I’m here.

I’ve got you.

That’s what helps calm the nervous system.That’s what softens those walls of self-protection.That’s what makes space for truth-the kind of truth that helps us take responsibility for our part, see how we’ve maybe hurt others out of our own pain, and how we’ve been manipulated, conditioned, even brainwashed. And how that hasn’t just hurt us, but others too.

Because we’re not just healing our own stuff. We’re carrying generations of unhealed trauma. And it’s going to keep getting passed down until someone is brave enough to love themselves fiercely and look in the mirror with truth and compassion.

Truth and radical compassion.

If you’re looking for a trusted therapist or guide to walk with you on your inner healing journey or a speaker for your next event, email me at:📧 Kim@kimwatttherapy.com