She-Wolf Has Awakened

Not long ago, I dreamed of a wolf.

I didn’t understand it until a few days ago.

My family is facing a season so raw, so frightening, it has carved into us with uncertainty and pain. We arrived at an appointment, nervous laughter, tears held back, and strength for each other, holding each other with hope and deep love. Someone approached us and said, "I heard you travel as a pack."

That single word filled me with fierce pride.

 I couldn't stop talking about it.

The Pack.

Our Pack.

Even to the point of driving my kids crazy.

But that word describes us.

It’s the truth.

In times of joy, suffering, and everything in between, we come as a pack.

This weekend, that feeling gnawed at me.

I’ve always searched for the animal I relate to most.

Then, clarity surged through me, sharp and wild.

A wolf. A she-wolf. And my family and anyone I adopt and bring close to me is my wolf pack.

I began to learn what a wolf represents in indigenous culture, and what her pack means to her.

I’m not Native American, but while healing and reconnecting with my heritage, I reflect on my own Indigenous identity as part Native Hawaiian.

Native Hawaiians, Indigenous people often considered cultural cousins to Native Americans, remind me that learning about my roots is transforming me, connecting me to the sacred, and deepening my respect for Indigenous cultures.

According to Google, the definition of she-wolf is:

She-Wolf Representation in Indigenous Culture:

* Protector and Nurturer: The she-wolf is revered as the ultimate mother figure, caring for pups and providing for the pack, mirroring the protective role of women in Indigenous communities.

* Intuition and Instinct: She represents the "wild woman" archetype, connecting deeply with instinct, intuition, and the natural world, often serving as a guide to reclaiming one's inner truth.

* Sacred Bond: Images of she-wolves with Native women often symbolize the sacred, untamed, and unsilenced nature of Indigenous women, who have carried their cultural traditions forward.

* Wisdom and Medicine: The she-wolf is considered a "medicine being," providing wisdom in navigating life’s challenges and guiding lost souls.

* Unbroken Spirit: She embodies the ability to survive in a harsh, changing world, representing resilience and the enduring spirit.

My life, like yours, has been grueling, at times brutal and unrelenting. I have borne pain and hardship and have come through scarred but standing.

But never before have I felt the she-wolf rising in my veins.

I fiercely nurture, fiercely love, and fiercely protect, not just my children and husband, but anyone I hold close. Last night, I warned my family: my protector’s snarl is exposed. Cross a line, and you’ll meet the unyielding force I become for my pack.

Writing has always been healing for me, and in these next several months, my snarled teeth and raised back spine might come out as they did in my post yesterday.

My writing will be raw.

 I am not worrying about who likes me or who is for me. I’m not here to take care of your feelings. If I say something that you take offense to, sit with it, get curious, and allow that to show you something within you.

Although if I do say something that is hurtful or insensitive to someone on the margins, black, brown, indigenous, LBTQIA, disabled, underprivileged, please let me know. So, I can learn and do better. I will make mistakes, but my intention and heart are never to hurt anyone.

My writing may be uncomfortable; consider this your warning. Discomfort and fire can transform us if we let them, or cause us to retreat. If you’re not ready to look deeper, unfollow me now. You have been warned.

For those on the margins and those closest to my heart, family and friends know I will fight for them to the end, the she-wolf in me has awakened.

Image credit: Photos were stock photos from google.